Words and phrases to sound like you know what you’re doing at Ski Callaghan
“Put the hammer down” – a racing term meaning to push as hard as possible. Akin to the Albertan “give’r.”
Thick for kick, thin to win – a little slogan to help remember which wax to use and when. Kick wax should be laid on thick with some texture for grip, while a thin layer of glide wax will help the skis glide quickly and smoothly across the snow. However if its snowing thick clumps of clumping types of snow, you may need to carry glide wax with you everywhere you go... even not when skiing.. you never know.
Shmoo – Ungroomed or “crappy,” unconsolidated snow. If you want to be identified as a whiner or an elitist, use this word frequently.
Death Cookies – chunks of ice found on Nordic trails. Hitting one (or several) usually results in a significant loss of balance, composure and style. Avoid them if you’re trying to impress anyone. Death cookies frequently occur when the conditions are icy. For example: “I hit a death cookie and totally bailed, man.”
Newbie – someone new to the sport of cross-country skiing. Easily identified by wearing pants tucked into boots and/or downhill skiing or snowboarding outerwear. Carries equipment with general confusion and disarray. Often seen puzzling over how to engage boots into skis. Or, conversely, seen sitting forlornly waiting for someone to release them from their leg hold trap. CALLAGHAN COUNTRY EDICT IS TO BE VERY KIND TO THESE BRAVE SOULS.
Mamil – Middle aged man in lycra. Self-explanatory. Never use this word in the presence of a mamil. They are not bad people. They are men in lycra. And lycra is the best.
Alpenis – A male cross-country skier. Known for being particular about trail conditions and showing up to ski at 8 o’clock.
Body packing – falling so hard snow gets into every crevice of your body and the skier has packed snow in and around his or her body.
“Nice trows” – a compliment given VERY selectively to unusually amazing lycra displays.
Nordic Norm – the quintessential Nordic man.
Spoke and stroke – not what you or your filthy mind think. A skate skiing technique in which the skier plants his or her pole, and glides along.
N.S.P. – An abbreviation for Nordic Social Progression, or, in layman’s terms, “partying.” Most evening soirees by Nordic skiers wrap up by 9 p.m.
Diet sticks – A term given to skate skis because of their thin profile. Frequent use of “diet sticks” may also give the skier a thin appearance, that of being on a “diet.” Dieting sucks; cross country ski instead.
Grazing – the way you eat if you’re a real cross-country racer. Nordic Norm hasn’t eaten three meals a day since the 1970s. Grazing entails eating frequent, small quantities of micronutrients (also known as rabbit food).
Sitzmark - The large hole or indentation left behind from a fallen skier. It is good manners to fill in any sitzmarks you make in the trail. As if falling wasn’t embarrassing enough, now you must CLEAN UP YOUR MESS.